Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize