Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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