Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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