im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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