Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
