Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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