I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
