Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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