Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize