just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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