sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
