I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
