oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
