I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
