Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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