I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
