Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
