"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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