I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
