Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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