my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
