I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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