I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have post one night stand depression
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