So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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