pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
