Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize