I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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