Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
