so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
