i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
