just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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