i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize