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playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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