We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
