I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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