things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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