Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
