i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize