So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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