i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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