i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Drake has all the answers
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
