it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
