hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
