hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
