Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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