What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize