Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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