I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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