never play flip cup with pint glasses
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Can I color on your dick again?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize