I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
