He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
