Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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