Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
