I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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