I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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