I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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