Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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