Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
