its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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