Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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