they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
