I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
