Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
